


Slander and Defamation

by CactusPot



Category: Total Drama
Genre: Brotp, During Canon, Gen, my sarcastic non-canon brotp tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 09:03:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13900746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CactusPot/pseuds/CactusPot
Summary: After Gwen and Noah find out they don't loathe the other's existence, Gwen has qualms about voting him off.





	Slander and Defamation

Noah had been idly reading for an hour when he noticed a dark shadow fall across the page. Looking up, he was greeted by the sour expression of a fellow Gopher camper.

“Oh look, it’s Skin Bleach Supreme,” he said dryly, placing a ratty bookmark in the book’s pages.

“Are you cold, Noah?” Gwen smirked for the briefest of moments, then her mouth dipped into her familiar scowl. “That would explain why you’re wearing so many shirts.”

“I don’t have as many layers as you have foundation.” Noah rolled his eyes. No way was Gwen naturally so pale.

“So nice, he wore it thrice,” she said, ignoring his comment and kicking his side gently with her boots.

“So why you here?” Noah inquired, looking at her warily. “Because unless I’ve missed a memo about an imminent challenge, I’d prefer to finish my literature.”

“I was just gonna sit and draw for a while. No talking required.” Gwen rolled her eyes. “Katie and Sadie are back in camp singing Justin Bieber. No way was I gonna stick around there.”

“Gag.” Noah mimed hanging himself, a gesture that came second-nature to him, then reopened his book. “Sit down, be my guest.”

“Cool.” Gwen plopped down on the grass next to him, opened her sketchbook, and began drawing.

For a while, the only sounds were the rustling of paper and an occasional cough. Eventually, curiosity overcame Noah, and he peeked over to see the sketch Gwen was developing.

“I can sue you for illegal use of my likeness, you know,” Noah informed her, his eyes unwavering from the fresh art in Gwen’s sketchbook. In such a short time, she had drawn an impressively detailed profile of Noah.

“I think I’m the least of your legal worries, to be quite honest.” Gwen nodded at the camera that was directed towards them from the opposite tree.

“Considering there’s no challenge or anything substantial going on, it’s highly unlikely this footage will be used for the show,” Noah reasoned. He unfolded his legs and lay down his book for a brief moment.

“You suck, Chris!” Gwen flipped off the camera. Noah chuckled at the slander.

“You’re the absolute worst, Chris,” Noah agreed.

The loudspeaker suddenly buzzed to life. Chris’ static-riddled voice declared, “I can sue _you_ for slander and defamation of character, Mr. Legal Technicalities.”

“He can’t sue if it’s true,” Noah muttered. Gwen caught the remark and laughed. Noah grinned.

“So, what book are you reading?” Gwen asked now that the atmosphere had lightened considerably.

Noah held up the book, displaying the monochromatic cover. “Truman Capote’s _In Cold Blood_.”

“Getting a head start on next year’s reading?” Gwen raised an eyebrow.

“No, some people actually read for entertainment,” Noah answered, meeting her gaze evenly.

“Oh, so now I’m uncultured?” Gwen put a hand to her chest. “My feelings are hurt.”

“Unfortunate.” Noah shrugged good-naturedly.

Gwen smiled, then resumed her drawing. Following suit, Noah returned to his book.

* * *

 

“Yeah, I agree. Noah was a total douche today.” Gwen hunched over the picnic table. Surrounding her were fellow members of the Screaming Gophers: Heather, Beth, Cody, Trent, Leshawna, and Izzy. Owen, Lindsay, and Noah himself were missing in action, presumably eating, showering, or reading, respectively.

“So it’s settled. Noah goes home.” Heather folded her arms definitively.

“ _But_ ,” Gwen countered, looking from face to face, “Noah happens to be a really smart guy. So what if he sucks at dodgeball? He wouldn’t have made a difference against Duncan. And if there’s a trivia challenge along the line, we’d have such an advantage if we kept him.”

“Well who would you vote off in his place?” Heather asked, drumming her fingers on the rotting table wood. “Cody? Beth?”

“Hey!” Beth protested.

“Plus, Noah just sat there and read. He didn’t even try to give us tips or anything,” Trent said. “Major downer.”

“Fair enough,” Gwen conceded. “But Lindsay didn’t do much, either. She ran off with Tyler halfway through! I know you noticed, Heather. That’s grounds for elimination, too.”

“Oh shut up, weird goth girl,” Heather snarled. “We’re voting Noah and that’s final.”

“Even if you vote for Lindsay, it’s not gonna make a difference,” Cody said to Gwen as the crowd dispersed. “Everyone else wants Noah gone.”

“Even you? I thought you guys were friends.”

“After the, erm, incident last challenge” -Cody shifted his weight and cleared his throat- “I wouldn’t mind being rid of him.”

“Okay, whatever. I don’t care enough to stop you guys from voting off Noah.” Gwen stood up.

“If you vote with us, we can all pelt him with marshmallows after the ceremony,” Trent offered, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Gwen hesitated. “Maybe.” Truth be told, she was still set on booting Lindsay. The ditz had most likely had helped Heather steal her diary. Comparing Lindsay to Noah, it was a no-brainer to keep the brain.

Still, Gwen found herself walking through the woods a few minutes later. The sun hung low in the sky, a reminder that the campfire ceremony would start soon.

She found Noah right where she expected, under the same tree where they had talked a few days prior.

“Hey,” Gwen, said, leaning against the trunk.

Noah didn’t look up from his book. “Hey yourself.”

“You didn’t have to be such a jerk during the challenge,” Gwen commented. “Yeah, so what if you’re the least athletic person on the planet? You could’ve at least pretend you cared.”

Noah snapped his book shut. “Are you voting me off?”

“Maybe.” Gwen shrugged nonchalantly.

“Oh good,” Noah replied, standing up. Even then, Gwen still had almost half a foot on him. “After Lindsay sauntered off to make out with Jockstrap Jones, I was concerned there wouldn’t be enough voters against me.”

“Against you?” Gwen furrowed her brow. “What are you saying?”

Noah rolled his eyes. “Oh please. I’m not moronic enough to be that antagonistic without purpose.”

“Translation?” Gwen asked, though she had a pretty good idea about what Noah was implying.

“There’s better places to be than here,” Noah said vaguely.

“You’d give up the hundred thousand so you can go home and read in peace?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

Gwen shifted her weight. “I hate it here, believe me. But if I can, I want that money. For my family. My mom would be so much better off if she had the prize money.”

Noah shrugged. “Suit yourself. And good luck.”

“Thanks.” Gwen smiled, imagining how elated her mother would be with all that money. In a way, Noah was doing her a favor.

As they began walking back to camp, Gwen asked, “Have you told anyone else about your, er, plan?”

“I considered telling Owen,” Noah admitted. “He came by earlier, and it was basically a prelude to your visit. But I’d rather Chris didn’t find out about my little escape plot, and Owen…”

“Yeah,” Gwen agreed, nodding along. “Is he your closest friend here?”

“More or less.” Noah shrugged. He smirked and added, “I’d say I’d miss him, but he’s probably gonna get kicked out in two episodes anyways, so it won’t be long ‘til I see him again.”

“Don’t underestimate him,” Gwen warned. “Owen’s got us covered in food challenges.”

“Astute observation,” Noah conceded. By now, they had reached the outskirts of camp. Leshawna waved to Gwen from where she and Trent were hanging out by the Killer Bass cabin.

“Start packing, loser,” Gwen said as she started walking towards her friends.

“Whatever, weirdo,” Noah responded, slinking off to the cabins. Gwen smiled slightly at the jab before turning to address Leshawna and Trent.

“What were you doing with Noah?” Trent asked curiously, his green eyes filled with curiosity.

“Ah, nothing much,” Gwen said lazily, leaning against the porch railing. “Let’s just say there’s one more vote in your marshmallow alliance.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhhhh all I do is write about Noah. I'm an embarrassment.  
> Gwen and Noah are two of my favorite characters so ofc I'm a little bummed they didn't interact more in canon. But they're BFFs in Total Drama High so I can settle for that.


End file.
